And speaking of exasperated children…Preventative Discipline has saved a lot of tears

There have been a lot of spankings in our house in the last few years. And, unfortunately, they're not always very effective. Noah, especially, seems to think that spankings are worth it in order to do some things he's not supposed to do. It was time for a change.

Bedtime has been particularly frustrating over the last year or so. Ever since Noah's been able to dismantle the door knob cover, he's found it increasingly enticing and entertaining to come out of his room for hours on end, which led to many, many spankings. The system was broken.

Amazingly, now when it's bedtime he stays in bed without so much as a peep. What's changed? Our usual routine is still the same: read our Bible (and one other book of his choosing), sing songs together as a family, Brush Teeth, Floss, use the restroom, Pray, go to bed. But now…he has an incentive to stay in bed that keeps him in bed. Noah LOVES to play games (and who would have known? J ), and especially UNO, checkers, and Skip Bo. Now at bedtime, instead of threats and punishments, we offer an opportunity. I say something like "Noah, if you're a good sleeper tonight and you stay in your bed quietly and go to sleep without coming out of your room; you can earn the opportunity to play UNO (or another game) with Mommy and Daddy tomorrow night." The results were almost immediate. The first night he chose to come out of his room (for something other than going to the restroom or being sick). When he realized he'd really lost the opportunity to play a game the next day, he cried and cried (much worse than if I'd spanked him ten times). The next night when we offered him the same chance, he made the choice to stay quietly in his bed. IT WAS AMAZING! The first thing he says when he gets up now is "Daddy, I can play UNO with you tonight!." He's so proud that he's made a good choice and been rewarded for it. And, we all enjoy playing games together in the evenings before bed. It's become a great way for him to learn colors, numbers, counting, addition, subtraction, patters, order, manners, and good sportsmanship. What a blessing!

We've not stopped spanking by the way. Sometimes there is just no substitute. But we've been able to significantly lessen a major point of contention between us by being proactive rather than reactive.